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changetheday
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Name: Julie
Country: United States
State: Ohio
Metro: Toledo
Birthday: 5/30/1981
Gender: Female
Interests: American Idol, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Animals, Adema, Anne of Green Gables, Beauty and The Geek, Breaking Benjamin, Care Bears, Cold, Crossfade, Depeche Mode, Disturbed, dancing, Drowning Pool, dog grooming, Evanescense, earrings, Faeries, Fantasy, Family Guy, Far and Away, Garth Nix, Garbage, graphic design, George R.R. Martin , goth stuff, glitter, Harry Potter, karaoke, L.M. Montgomery, laughing, Linkin Park, movies, Mudvayne, nailpolish, napping, Our Lady Peace, piano, Robin Hobb, Reno 911, reading, Sevendust, South Park, Soilwork, singing, Tori Amos, Unicorns, video games, World of Warcraft, writing
Expertise: Dog Grooming, EMT, Retail
Occupation: Sunshine Children's Home
Industry: Direct care
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  danysdragons
MSN: celticmorrigan@hotmail.com
Yahoo:  dragonemeralds
Member Since:
11/2/2004
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| In hate cars yet I love them. I love them because they get me where I
need to go but when they break down I want to get a sledgehammer out of
my closet and go to town. Seriously.
If some magical little birdie would drop a million bucks in my lap this is what I would change.
1. My parents would have their house paid off.
2. I would have a new car
3. My own house
4. Jessica wouldn't have to worry about being homeless.
5. Pay off my debts.
6. Help Corey pay his debt off.
7. Go Visit Beth, Kayla, and Mindy often.
8. Go on a nice month vacation over seas and just not worry about anything.
9. Donate to an animal organization and a people one. Animal one first though;)
20. Run far far away from Toledo.
21. Start my own business.
But
of course they say money doesn't solve everyones problems and I never
expect it too in the very rare and odd case that I would win a million
dollars. But I betcha is I had that kind of money I'd be able to sleep
better at night. For awhile anyways.
In other news I have to do
SOMETHING with my life. I mean yeah I work and have friends and pets
and hobbies but I need a career. I'm going to school but I am 26 years
old and still don't know what I really want to do with my life. Well I
want to be a writer but realistically I couldn't make a living off
doing that.
I still need to get my arse in gear and write a
book though. I've gone back and forth between so many ideas. Having th
ideas is not the problem its getting myself to do it because I don't
think I am good enough to write something anyone would want to read. I
read all these books and think "How can I make a book that long or word
things like then?" Then I get all defeated and give up. But a newer
author has inspired me. Celia Rivenbark. I could do something like her
with my own twist. | | |
| Been extremely busy lately and learning what "real" responsibility is
for the first time in my life and the serious consequences that can
come from not taking care of your health and yourself. It's an
important factor. If you don't take care of yourself everything is
proven to fall apart. Job, family, finances. Even your car gets this
funky odor to it. Thanks to some wonderful people however and the
unborn Austin who I owe my life too I am realizing the things I need to
do.
Work and school are kicking my butt but I'm learning a lot
and hopefully growing up more and more. Still don't know what exactly
is going on with mom and the breast cancer but I am going to stay
optimistic and I know things will work out in the end as long as I
don't give up. I send out much love to all you guys especially Kayla,
Mindy, Kev, Jess and Corey who have upheld me through the worst and
need some lovin back.
I'm gonna buy a new car any ideas what models are good? Well newer car anyways. | | |
| I am not sure what I feel anymore concerning life and how it is
supposed to go. I have been hiding partly because I work a lot not,
I've been sick with this psycho version of the flu but mostly to think
and reflect so as to prevent breakdown. I feel older and wiser. You
would think this would be a good feeling. In ways yes but in others no.
I have had to let a few people go from my life. It hurts but I know it
is for the best. One of them is my friend Kim. I love her and always
will but she does nothing but cause drama and I can't have that anymore
or be treated the way she treats me. I really don't need to let go of
any one else but more the fact I need to let go of certain ideas. Here
are the thoughts and bad habits I am trying to rid myself of.
1. Thinking everything is my fault
2. Negative self image inward and outward
3. Bad work habits
4. Hypocricy
5. Trying to make everyone happy
6. Stressing over stupid stuff.
I
have come to the conclusion that this last one will indeed kill me off
at an early age if I don't come to grips with it now. I have some
awesome things going for me and I need to forget about the past and
embrace the new and wonderful things God has blessed me with.
Theres
Corey. A guy who I know actually loves me and not just loves me but
shares everything with me. He doesn't hide things and lie like a lot of
my ex's. I just got out of a really weird relationship with a guy named
Chris that doesn't even have the common courtesy or respect to give me
back some of my belongings. It's sad really and it's his problem. I
just don't understand why the lies. Why does anyone lie really? Why
have I lied to so many people myself. Some big lies some petty small
ones but still lies all the same.
Theres people I am getting
back into contact with. Mandy which is awesome and I am going to call
Josh this week. My cousins and family I haven't seen in ages. My cousin
Ashley is going to have a baby.
There are celebrations to be
had. Courtney, Mandy, and Ashley having their babies and my new job at
Sunshine's. I really like working there even though it kicks my butt
everyday.
Then theres the whole God thing. It's there and
emerging. Into what I have no idea but it will be what it comes out as.
I have a lot of things on my mind and I just don't know what to do with
all the thoughts and feelings. I just cross my fingers and pray that
everything turns out ok for me and my loved ones. Its all any of us can
do on a day to day basis. | | |
| So a week till Christmas and am sick. My test went well. I am an EMT.
Well almost. Got registry next month. Trying to get into the spirit.
Blah whatever. I will be in touch soon as my body is not like a slurpee
machine. | | |
| A little peace on Earth is all that would make this Holiday ok. But
sometimes that seems like it will never happen. Amidst all the fighting
and bickering I want to hop a plane to the next destination of my
choice and never look back sometimes. But I would miss everyone
horribly even if they wouldn't miss me.
My dad is putting up
Christmas lights and I'm thinking "Ok why now? Why get all Christmassy
now after 25 years of my life being a douche bag. I won't lie though.
It's nice.
Corey has introduced me to some pretty cool people. Big John will make you laugh your ass off!
I
am feelin bad for all the pretty little lies out group has told that
Jess speaks of. In a way I have been hypocritical. I mean we all can be
but I was bitching about certain other people and their pretty little
lies when I told one myself the other day. I did it because I didn't
want Scott to be hurt. Sometimes I feel like there is never enough time
in one day. I try to do too much and it blows up in my face like the
above mentioned.
I don't lie about big stuff and I have been
more honest with people lately than ever but sometimes I backslide and
make something up or leave something out so as not to hurt ones
feelings. For what it's worth I'm sorry Jess and expecially to Scott.
We really did find ourselves at Delaney's before we realized we'd
forgetten to go get you. Guess Corey and I are both airhead driver's
huh? I'll buy you another pack of cigs.
This week I've been
trying my best to get away and not deal with things. Not worry about
work and certain "people". I've been quite inebriated on a few
occasions and it helps but I don't want to repeat this next week that
way. We all finally found a place to karaoke at. It's Mr Beefy's in
Pburg and it's actually quite fun. So if anyone wants to come let me
know. It's Saturday nights.
Well with all of this Holiday hurt I
can at least say I think I've become a lot stronger. Kelly Clarkson's
most recent album pretty much sums up a lot about how I feel these days. | | |
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